toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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