An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
