Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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