and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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