Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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