i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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