ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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