so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
