you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
