Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
