I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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