Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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