people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
