y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize