You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
