Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
