Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
