No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
