if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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