It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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