I must be too annoying 4 u.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
