So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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