Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Found your dick twin last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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