i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize