Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
