I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
