so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
