the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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