watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
