Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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