The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
