just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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