reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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