I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
