Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
