i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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