This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
