she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
