Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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