I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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