remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
