Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
