You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
