dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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