She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
