I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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