Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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