And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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