Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
