$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
