I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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