i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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