I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
