I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
false alarm, still single
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
