break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize