Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
