OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
