Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

Thanks dad.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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(507): View more from Minnesota

How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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(541): View more from Oregon

side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge

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(517): View more from Michigan

Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM

(617): View more from Massachusetts

cool u want pads or tampons

(781): View more from Massachusetts

tampons please

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