i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
