She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
