Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
